Debbie's Testimony

       I AM 42 YEARS OLD.  I WAS BORN AND RAISED BY A GODLY MOTHER AND FATHER. WE WERE BROUGHT UP IN CHURCH AND I STAYED IN CHURCH UNTIL I WAS ABOUT 27.THEN I WANTED TO SEE WHAT THE WORLD WAS ABOUT. THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE.  I WAS WORKING IN A RESTAURANT AND I WOULD LISTEN TO PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE PLACES THEY GO AND THE THINGS THEY DO, YES IT SOUNDED LIKE FUN.  SO I FINALLY SAID I WANT TO EXPERIENCE IT. I LEFT MY HUSBAND AFTER 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. I MOVED OUT OF TOWN.  I GOT TO WHERE I MET SOME PEOPLE AND I WOULD GO BY THE BAR.  AT FIRST EVERYBODY WOULD BUY ME A BEER AND I WOULD JUST ACT LIKE I WAS DRINKING IT, TO FIT IN.  I GOT TO DRINKING A FEW MORE SWALLOWS EVERY TIME, THEN I GOT TO THE POINT WHERE I WOULD TRY TO DRINK THE BAR DRY. 
       I GOT TO RUNNING WITH WORLDLY PEOPLE, STARTED SPEAKING THEIR LANGUAGE, (CUSSING EVERY BREATH) DOING WHAT EVER THE CROWD WANTED. DRINKING, DRUGGING, FIGHTING.  I TRIED TO KEEP MY KIDS, BUT I REALLY HAD THEM SOMEWHERE ALL THE TIME.  I NEVER RUN A NEEDLE, THANK GOD, BUT I USED ALCOHOL, THEN POT, LATER ACID, MUSHROOMS, COCAINE, THEN CRACK. THAT'S WHAT REALLY TOOK ME DOWN. I HAVE BEEN SO CLOSE TO DEATH THAT WHEN I SAY IT WAS ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD I AM ALIVE, PEOPLE I TRULY MEAN THAT.  WHEN YOU STAND WITH A GUN IN YOUR FACE AND THINK YOU CAN GRAB A TIRE TOOL AGAINST 6 CRACK DEALERS, BELIEVE ME GOD WAS ON THAT SCENE PERSONALLY ALONG WITH SO MANY OTHER TIMES.  
       THEN, YEARS LATER, I FINALLY GOT TO THINKING ABOUT MY LIFE AND MY KIDS.  I THANK GOD I NEVER LOST THEM OR THEIR LOVE.  I REALLY PUT THEM THROUGH IT.  I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT EVERY DAY NOW.  AND WHEN I SEE THEM FALL IT BREAKS MY HEART SO MUCH, CAUSE I KNOW I SHOWED THEM THAT LIFESTYLE,YOU KNOW?  THE FIRST YEARS OF THEIR LIFE I HAD THEM IN CHURCH UNTIL THEY GOT TO BE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS ALL ABOUT, THEN I FELL OUT.
       I WOULD MESS UP THEN I WOULD PRAY TO GOD, "I WON'T DO IT AGAIN", I'D READ MY BIBLE. GOD WOULD PULL ME OUT OF THE MESS I WAS IN AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN.  I MARRIED A MAN THAT BEAT ME, I MEAN BEAT ME BAD.  HE WOULD LAUGH AND TELL ME I WAS CRAZY FOR READING THE BIBLE, I LET HIM CLOUD MY MIND OF WHAT I KNEW ALL THE TIME.  I REALLY WENT THROUGH ALOT WITH THIS MAN, I'D BE HERE ALL DAY TELLING YOU, BUT IF THERE IS ANYONE IN A SIMILAR SITUATION I'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK TO YOU.  I'M TRYING NOT TO TAKE UP SO MUCH TIME,  BUT I COULD TELL YOU SO MANY STORIES YOU WOULD KNOW THERE IS A GOD FOR SURE, AND HE LOVES US IN SPITE OF WHAT WE HAVE DONE OR WHAT WE ARE. THANK YOU LORD.
       I FINALLY MOVED BACK HOME TO MY FAMILY IN 99 AFTER 13 YEARS OF PARTYING, CAUSE THAT IS ABOUT ALL I HAD DONE.  I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING FUN, BUT I WAS SO MISERABLE.  I MEAN I MADE AND SEEN MY KIDS GO WITHOUT.  BUT IT WASN'T BECAUSE I WANTED THAT, IT WAS BECAUSE THE DEVIL HAD ME SO BAD I COULDN'T SEE PAST IT.  BUT I MOVED BACK AND I STARTED BACK GOING TO CHURCH AND I RUN GOOD FOR 2 YEARS.  MY HUSBAND WAS WITH ME, WE WE'RE DOING GREAT. THEN OUR PREACHER FELL, I KNOW WE AREN'T SUPPOSE TO HAVE OUR EYES ON MAN, BUT MY HUSBAND SAID LETS GO GET A BEER, AND WE DID. THEN I STARTED HITTING AND MISSING.  MY HUSBAND FELL OUT AGAIN COMPLETELY. I WAS REALLY ON THE VERGE OF IT. I WAS LIVING LIKE I WANTED THROUGH THE WEEK AND TRYING TO ACT LIKE I WAS DOING GOOD ON SUNDAYS.  IT DON'T WORK, MY FRIEND.   
      THEN I STARTED ANOTHER CHURCH, AND I REALLY GAVE MY HEART AND SOUL, BODY AND MIND BACK TO JESUS. I WAS BOUND AND DETERMINED I WAS GONNA MAKE IT.  I FELL ALOT IN THE FIRST YEAR, BUT I THANK GOD, I NEVER GAVE UP AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME.  I FOUGHT THE DEVIL AND MY HUSBAND ALOT THE FIRST YEAR, BUT MY PREACHER WOULD SAY JUST BECAUSE YOU FELL DON'T QUIT.  GOD CAN WORK WITH YOU BETTER IF YOU'RE IN CHURCH.  I THANK GOD FOR MY PASTOR, I KNOW IT'S THROUGH GOD'S GRACE AND MERCY I'M WHERE I'M AT TODAY, BUT MY PREACHER HAS A BIG HAND IT. I AM SO GRATEFUL HE WAS THERE BECAUSE IF NOT, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHICH WAY I WOULD HAVE WENT WITH THE SHAPE I WAS GETTING BACK INTO.  PEOPLE, IF YOU EVER NEED A PREACHER OR DON'T HAVE A HOME CHURCH I'M TELLING YOU WE HAVE THE BEST.
      I WOULDN'T TAKE A MILLION DOLLARS FOR WHERE I AM TODAY. FOR MY SALVATION AND MY SPIRITUAL LIFE, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. BECAUSE I KNOW TODAY WHEN I TALK TO HIM HE HEARS ME, HE REALLY HEARS ME.  IT MIGHT NOT BE AS FAST AS I WANT IT OR NOT EXACTLY LIKE I WANT IT, BUT I'VE LEARNED TO TRUST HIS WAY.  I COULD GO ON AND ON.  BUT I SEE SO MANY THAT ARE STILL BOUND DOWN BY SATAN THAT IT TEARS MY HEART OUT.  I MEAN IT REALLY HURTS.  BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY COULD BE.                             
      IF PEOPLE COULD JUST GET IT OR COULD SEE, THEY WOULD TURN THEIR LIFE AROUND. THERE IS NOTHING THAT I WOULD TURN BACK FOR.  NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND.  WE WERE MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS, AND YES I LOVE HIM STILL, BUT I KNOW I CAN NOT LIVE WITH HIM.  I KNOW I PUT MY MAMA AND DADDY THROUGH PURE TORTURE AND MY SISTERS AND BROTHER.  I THINK ABOUT ALL THE YEARS I WASTED NOT BEING WITH MY FAMILY.  KNOWING WHAT I HAVE DONE TO MY KIDS AND MY FAMILY.  MEMORIES I CAN'T RECALL OR SHARE, IT RIPS MY HEART OUT.  I AM SO THANKFUL THEY NEVER TURNED THEIR BACK ON ME.
       I HOPE THIS MAY HELP SOMEONE ALONG THE WAY AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK OR JUST NEEDS PRAYER, I'M HERE. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.                                  

 

DEBBIE - N.C.             DEBDASCAS@YAHOO.COM