Rives' Testimony

as a child i went to church and sunday school every sunday. i was the type of child that had lots of friends but preferred to be out in the yard with God. i felt a closeness to Him and spoke to Him as if He were right there because He was. i can even remember when i started moving away from Him because i remember the emptyness i felt and i would get down and say "i wanna go home". my parents didn't understand this and really i didn't either until later in life when i got back in church. i knew then what had happened. i had moved away and missed my best friend. i believe as children we all walk closely to Him and at some point He allows us to choose.

 

at the age of 15 i started smoking pot. by 16 i was smoking it all day long and by 17 was drinking and smoking before school. needless to say my grades were terrible but i didn't care because "i would never use that stuff anyway in life". school work was nothing i could use. when i went to college in 1978 i started using harder drugs like mushrooms, acid and some pills. it became a habit and i continued with the pot use daily.i would often drive drunk and knew that i had been watched over to get me home safely. there was just no way i did it by myself and i knew that.  i didn't start using cocaine until my 2nd year in college and then i preferred that over anything. i was a casual user for several years until 1985. then i met a friend that hooked me up with a connection that allowed me to get it by the ounce to sell and use.  well, from that point on i was hooked and used 1/4 of an ouce a day for myself. i would often try to sleep but couldn't. i knew that i was messing my life up badly but couldn't stop. then in 1989 i started getting paranoid. i KNEW that was a sign of a bad, bad user and so i started praying again. i had been to church on and off over the years since i left for college but not consistantly. i always KNEW that the Lord loved me and would never leave me. when i say i prayed i mean i prayed all nite since i couldn't sleep. i let it all out and spoke with him like a friend. it began to flow freely again and seemed natural even tho i was high. by morning when i went to snort another line i had feelings of conviction. strong feelings but i ignored them. when i got home back to my room i felt them again and ended up just throwing away the last bit of drugs and praying again that nite. i feel asleep praying and i asked over and over "please God i need your help. you are the ONLY one that can take this from me. i can not do this alone and i know it. please i need your help and i will listen". so HE did and i did and i havent touched them since.

 

i know that you can't beat a habit like that without help. i didn't go to AA or NA i went straight to the source that could heal me and He did! i praise God that he didn't leave me and i know that i have a purpose to serve. we are all special and we may not know what purpose we fill for many years or until we get to heaven but we all have a purpose and must KNOW that.  you never know when just your hello has lifted someone. simple things can mean so much to people and we must always keep that in mind.

 

no i'm not perfect. being christian doesnt' mean you are perfect. it just means that you are forgiven and for that i am thankful. drugs are ruining alot of lives and i don't feel that someone has to go to the church to be saved because you can be saved anywhere anytime as long as you ASK! that is the important thing. remember He lives in YOUR heart. He is there and wanting YOU to open the door that you keep locked. listen to your heart and not your head and you will always be happy. it is hard , but not near as hard as the road ahead if you don't. thanks for listening and may God bless your life as He has blessed mine.

 

Rives - Snow Camp, NC